The Adventures of the Mini-Mowers

Tips from nearly 7 years ago

We're still working on cleaning out the craft/study room (the room we stuffed our entire house into so we could have the carpets cleaned to rid the house of the winter mouse smell). I did run across the papers I received at my Bridal/Grocery Shower with advice from the women and girls present. It was fun to go back through and re-read them and to see what they said. After nearly 7 years of marriage there are some pieces of advice that have really helped us and some that didn't work so well (such is the nature of advice). I thought I'd share these thoughts (from 8 year old girls up to 80+ year old women) and add a few of my own.  I combined the pieces of advice and put them into categories to make it a little more cohesive. 

• In the Kitchen:
• Don't run him out of the kitchen! If his mother already has him trained, don't un-train him with your efforts to be a "good wife".
• Cameron loves to cook and is really good at it. We'd both be missing out on a part of who he is if I kicked him out of the kitchen. 
• Cook his favorite thing once in a while.
• Feed him breakfast-don't sleep in all the time.
• Sometimes I am more successful with this than other times. It does make Cameron feel loved and special when I get up with him and take the time to make breakfast for us. Even if it's just toast. 
• Don't hide the cookies (or anything else) on top of the fridge.
• This was from a shorter woman with a tall husband. Growing up her mother hid things on the fridge because they couldn't see it, so that's what she tried...only her husband found the stash! I thought this was pretty funny. Hiding things on the fridge definitely wouldn't work in our house either. 
• Plan meals ahead, this helps keep him happy.
• There is so much truth to this. Having a plan helps both of us and cuts down on the "What do you want to eat?" "I don't know. What do you want to eat?" "No clue." nights (which sometimes causes tension). 
• Set the table even if dinner is not ready.
• Having dinner at the table really does make a difference. You have to sit together and talk and be a couple. There is something about eating at a set table that helps you calm down, enjoy the food, and talk. 
• When your hubby comes home and you don't have dinner going yet, just chop up an onion and fry it. The smell will make him think that you're cooking dinner and you can just go back to doing what you were doing until you're ready to actually prepare dinner.
• This was from a 13 year old girl and it still makes me laugh. Cameron thinks this is genius. 
• Every now and then purposely don't cook dinner so he will either cook it or take you out to eat.
• We've both done this. I think every couple does this every now and then. 
• Disagreements
• Never go to bed before straightening out any differences (arguments/varying different ideas).
• Don't ever go to bed mad, because he will go right to sleep and you won't!
• Never ever go to bed while still being mad at your hubby. Always work out your problems before going to sleep, you will sleep better.
• I have to disagree here. The later you stay up "discussing", the more tired and dramatic you get. Things always seem blacker at night (no pun intended). Go to bed. Sleep on it. Let your emotions cool and your brain sort things out while you sleep. Then talk it over in the morning when you both are less dramatic, have had sleep, and the emotions are not dominantly in control. 
• Many things you think are very important many times really don't matter.
• Keep a good sense of humor. Laughter is a good tension reliever. 
• Choose your battles wisely. Don't sweat the small stuff. 
• Dishwashers overflowing, dirty toilets, a sock in the couch, bobby pins on the floor. They just aren't worth getting upset over. 
• The silent treatment doesn't work. He probably appreciates the peace and quiet!
• Keep a sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine.
• Laugh together-a lot. Don't take yourself too seriously. 
• Communication is the key! Discuss everything and make decisions together. When problems come up don't fret over the small things-most things aren't worth fighting about.
• Talk talk talk talk talk. Listen listen listen listen listen. Tell each other your fears, your worries, your dreams, your excitements, etc. Don't assume you know what your spouse is thinking, because that'll come back to bite you in the behiney. 
• Be Calm
• Don't Forget God
• Have a wonderful life and always remember to pray together.
• Most of all, be thankful to God and to each other at the beginning and end of every day that you have each other to hold hands with and watch the sunrises and sunsets of life. 


• The advice the man who sealed us in the temple asked us to kneel down and pray before we go to bed at night.
• We are not always good at saying our prayers together at night. I could make various excuses, but I won't. We need to do better at this, because I know it brings us closer together when we do. 
• Around the House
• Feed him breakfast-don't sleep in all the time.
• If you want help around the house, start out early in your marriage letting him help you. Then you won't have to train him later to pick up his dirty socks or help out with the dishes. It's even ok to let him do some cooking from time to time.
• Build him up
• Be true to each other's individuality-It will make you both stronger as a couple
• I see so many couples who want to like all the same things and do the same things and be the same and it just doesn't work. You were two people before you go married, and even now that you are united, you still are two people. You don't have to both like the same things and be exactly the same to be good together. I think it makes a couple stronger when they can embrace the uniqueness each other has.
• Try to always have something nice and complementary to say about him.
• I read somewhere right when we got married to never criticize or put down your spouse to others. Show them you love and respect them by not talking bad about them. Of course there will be things about your spouse that bug you, but they don't need the whole world to know that. The trust and strength between a couple will grow if they are able to build each other up. 
• Go with him to all the crazy places he wants to go...chasing arroyos-checking out the top of that next mountain-deer hunting in the snow!!
• This one is big. It sounds simple, but it's big. You both are going to want to go do different things for your different interests. Cameron loves hiking over the hill and catching the lizards that live in the canyon behind our house. I hate hiking that hill (I don't mind the lizards, just that hill for some reason), but sometimes I go with him and it makes him literally bouncy with joy that I want to be with him doing something he loves. He'll come with me to Astronomy labs, even though he really has no interest whatsoever in astronomy. I always appreciate his willingness to support my interests and to show me he loves me. We've had some great adventures following each other around. 
• Appreciate the wonderful person each of you are-accept the good and learn to live with the bad-people can only change themselves, not each other. 
• You will drive each other nuts. It happens. Things come up that we wish would be a little different, but we can't change anyone but ourselves. Don't dwell on the thing you wish were different, dwell on the things you love. Play Pollyanna's Glad Game. 
• Time
• Being married is wonderful, take one day at a time and enjoy each other!
• Right now it is easy to make time (or want) to make time for each other. As time goes on it gets harder to visit and enjoy each others company. Start now setting aside time for each other. Be each others best friend and always talk things through.The only advice I can think of is to be happy and enjoy your life together. You already know how to have a good time together. Don't ever lose that. 
• It has gotten a little harder to make time for each other, but not terribly so. I know that'll change when kids come along. As newly-newlyweds it is so easy to want to spend time together and to make that time, but as life takes hold, jobs start, and school butts in it can get a harder. You don't have to be together every hour of every day at every event, that's a little overkill, but make sure you do make time for each other. 
• Make a moment at least once a week to just be in love. 
• Friends and Family
• Be good friends with the in-laws.
• You don't marry just the person, you marry their family as well. I love my in-laws. They are amazing people. It has made the transition so much easier to not only be on good terms with his family, but to be friends with them.
• Make friends in your area of living.
• Yes! You both need friends. Have friends as a couple. Have "his" and "her" friends. Have single friends. Have married friends. Have older friends (I'm a strong advocate for this one with young couples). You don't need a huge address book full of friends, but do get out of your house and make a few friends. 
• Being in Love
• Think of your spouse often, even when you are not together.
• Simple acts of love bring you closer together.
• Always say 'I love you' before you go to bed at night, before you leave for the morning, and just whenever you feel the need. Those three words are the clay of molding you together.
• Marriage is the best! Treasure each day together. Tell him every day that you love him. Leave notes in his lunchbox or in his pocket, make his favorite meal every once in a while, have fun together!
• Love Cameron with all your heart, but don't get all caught up in the mushy-gushy stuff and forget to laugh. 
• From a 14 year old. What she said was funny, but true too. Don't get so caught up in the romance that you forget real life. Marriage is wonderful, but it isn't 24/7 romance. Enjoy the romantic times, but enjoy the real life and be able to laugh. In the end, that ends up being your real romance, not the mushy-gushy stuff. 
• True Love is a never ending work of art. 
• Make a moment at least once a week to just be in love. 
• The only advice I can think of is to be happy and enjoy your life together. You already know how to have a good time together. Don't ever lose that. 
• Laugh Lots
• Be Happy

Purgatory Chasm

Well, Cameron and I survived Purgatory yesterday. Purgatory Chasm at least. We both had the day off and we had just made a bunch of salsa, guacamole, black bean lime chicken, and fresh strawberry lime/lemonade and decided to take a picnic and hike. Cameron had Purgatory Chasm picked out for a while, so we decided to head up there and check it out.

The trails starts out really easy and goes by a huge chocolate Ponderosa Pine (Ponderosa Pines smell like ice cream...chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry). 

The trees there were pretty cool.

Pretty soon on you get to a fork in the trail. Well, it's the end/beginning of the loop trail actually. We opted to take the left fork and pretty quickly we were in the slot canyon.

There were lizards EVERYWHERE. Cameron was in heaven.

Chasing a lizard.

The path was marked with these rock cairns along the way.

With it being such a dry winter and spring, water was pretty scarce, but there were a few spots where it seeped up.

Shortly after the water the canyon split and there was a rock cairn. We couldn't tell what way we were supposed to go, but I thought I found the trail so we went off that direction. The trail was small, but we found another rock cairn a little ways up. It took us back up out of the canyon and on the hill tops so we could look down in the canyon. And then after a while the trail just petered out. Rather than go back down the fake trail we decided to drop back down into the canyon and follow it "downstream" until we saw somewhere we recognized.

The canyon that we went down was really cool, we're glad we ended up taking that detour.

Finally we found the main canyon and went up the other fork, hoping that was the way we were supposed to go. It wasn't long until we found all these cairns and knew we were on the right path this time.

The last thing you see as you come up out of the canyon is this awesome pool (about 3 feet deep we guestimate by the log Cameron pulled out of it).

We had no idea we had anything like this nearby and so accessible. I love where we live!

Some Updated Shots of Us

A couple of weeks back we had our friend Jani take some photos for us. We hadn't had any shots just the two of us for a while and thought it would be fun to get updates. These are just a few of our favorites. 

Spring Sing Date

Cameron and I drove over to Thatcher last night for Spring Sing. It was my brother Brigham's first choir concert ever...and his last college choir concert for at least the next 2 years (while he's gone to Oregon on a LDS mission). He was SO excited about it, we couldn't pass it up. It was so much fun to watch him sing and to be on stage. He got us good tickets so we were right up close and could see everything really well. Part way through the 2nd song he finally found us in the crowd and he got all nervous and blushed and it was so cute. I'm so proud of him and how hard he's worked. Men's Chorus was fantastic (I enjoyed them more than Company and A Capella by a long shot). He got to sing one of the same songs I did when I was in choir down at EA and it was fun to have him love it just as much as I did. It was worth the 4 hours of driving and getting home past 1am to go and watch him sing and for me to get to join in the circle for "The Lord Bless and Keep  You" (all the choir alumni get to stand in on the last song). It was a fun date out with Cameron. We needed that time away from the house and life together, and the music did my soul good.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/easternarizonacollege/8693342452/sizes/z/in/set-72157633379904486/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/easternarizonacollege/8692225521/sizes/z/in/set-72157633379904486/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/easternarizonacollege/8693337748/sizes/z/in/set-72157633379904486/

Niches

Some people just know what they want to be "when they grow up." Some knew since they were a kid. Some discover it through school. Some discover it through a hobby. Me? I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've had a big long list of things I thought I wanted to do, and I'm slowly eliminating items, and adding others.. Maybe someday I'll find my "true calling in life". Does anyone ever find their true calling in life? I'd love to know how they found it.

Here are some things I've crossed off my list in recent years:

• A professional photographer. 
• I don't like the business end of it. I don't like how busy it is. I don't like how little time I have to shoot what I want to shoot. I've gotten busier and busier, and on one hand that's really exciting...but it has been a little dominating of my life lately. I'm cutting way back and starting to turn shoots down. I'm looking forward to working on my Fairy Tale Project again, and to learn how to take better landscape shots. I'm ready to explore my photography interests again and have it just be my hobby. I'm not cutting people out all together...I love doing portraits (especially of my family and friends), I'm just cutting back. 
• A Chemist. 
• I thought pretty hard about getting a 2nd Bachelor's degree in Chemistry. I went and talked to the Chemistry guru at the University and I had classes all picked out and registered for. I was going back through my old math and chem books to brush up on it. And then I realized I was doing this all for the wrong reasons. I was doing it to impress people. I was doing it because many of my peers are science majors and I'm the odd English major out. I was doing it to have something to do to keep me busy. I wasn't doing it because I LOVE Chemistry (I did really enjoy my Chem classes, but not enough to pursue a degree in it). I wasn't doing it because I had a job in mind I wanted to do. I was getting into that for all the wrong reasons and luckily I realized that before I spent any money or too much energy on it. 
• An eternal student. 
• I love school. I LOVE school. I once thought that I just wanted to go to school for the rest of my life. I miss classes, the challenges, writing papers, and the general atmosphere of campus. But I don't miss the stress, the fluff assignments, the dumb reading assignments, or dealing with group projects. I love learning, but once I left school I realized I don't have to stay in school to learn. Now I can write whenever I want, about whatever I want. I can read the books I want to read and not the assigned books. I can find mini classes around the community and take them at my leisure. I now get to be a student of life rather than a school, and that's been a fun change. 
• A bum. 
• There were a few months where I didn't have a job, wasn't going to school, and really had little contact outside of church once a week. I thought I liked it. But it got old fast. I wasted a lot of time during those months. It was fun at first, but it got old fast. 
• A filler in a dead job. 
• I worked for a while at a fudge shop. It was fun at first. But I quickly found my brain was dying in that job. All I was there for was to run the cash register and to bag up candy. I had no creative outlet. There was no thinking that really went into the job. They weren't interested in changing things up or new ideas. It was stagnating. If I had to do that to put food on our table, I would and I could. But it just wasn't worth the constant frustration and feeling of uselessness when the money wasn't crucial. Now, I'm not working a big prestigious job, but I'm able to help problem solve, I can use my creativity, I get to teach occasionally, and that has made the world of difference. 
• An English Teacher. 
• I don't like most classic literature. I just can't get through it. I've done enough tutoring with people's papers to know it drives me nuts to review papers. Maybe I could just be a weird and completely different English teacher...

Here are a few things I've discovered in the past few years:

• I love working with the youth (in or out of church). 
• Right now I work with the 12-18 year old girls at church and I am loving it. There are moments of frustration of course, that's just a given in any situation, but the good moments outweigh the bad. These kids have so much energy and enthusiasm. They make me laugh and think and plan and create. 
• For 3 summers I worked with GEAR UP, helping junior high and high school students work on skills they'd need to be successful in college. I loved it. I loved seeing the excitement, the light bulbs that clicked on, and the growth from year to year. 
• I love teaching. 
• I've taught gospel lessons, astronomy, leadership, and music. I've loved each of those. I just love teaching. It's fun to put a lesson together and to feel it falling into place. I love having to stay on my toes during a lesson and adapt as needed. I love the whole process. 
• I like to organize events. 
• It's fun to just be given the reins and to come up with the whole event. I love figuring everything out from the timing, to the decorations, to the food, to the logistics, etc. It's a big, fun, frustrating, creative puzzle.
• I enjoy writing. 
• I guess I've always known this, but I really have come to enjoy it more over the past few years. Pinstrosity has been a fun endeavor. I've had to let it fall by the wayside some in my attentions lately with everything going on in life, but I'm hoping to launch back in soon. 

I've had many people tell me that I should be a teacher. I would love to do that...only I have no idea what I would teach. I would want to teach leadership, how to be efficient, how to problem solve, how to work with groups, etc. And there just really isn't a class for that at any school I know. I don't want a big and "prestigious" job. I just want to find my niche and to help make a difference. I was talking about this with a friend once and she said "Maybe being a mom will be your niche." I just kinda laughed. I can't tell you anything that scares or paralyzes me more than the thought of me being a mother. Perhaps when the time comes I'll find I'm more suited to it than I think (I really hope that's the case at least). 

Cameron is getting ready to start his Masters in the Fall. He'll be going back to classes, hopefully teaching some of the lower level Biology classes at the University, and substitute teaching at the local schools. I'm so excited for him to start this part of his education and preparations. I think he truly has found his niche. He's excited and ready for this. I know our lives will get stirred up some with the changes, but we've been able to roll with changes before (even with how much I "love" change...hahaha). We feel like staying here for Cameron's school, the plan we have, and what we're doing is what God wants us to do. We've both grown so much since coming here. Cameron's done so well with school here and has found his niche. Maybe I'll find mine here...or maybe it'll be years and years down the road before I figure my niche out. But I'm at least starting to gather information to give me ideas and directions to try. 

Music

I've been missing music in my life more and more. I joined an adult piano group. We've only met once so far, but I think I'm going to like it. We're all at different levels and have different interests, but I loved hearing new pieces and I love the motivation it gives me to play and practice. One of the ladies told me about a local singing group that I might be able to join. They're adjourning for the summer soon, but when fall comes back around I am definitely jumping on that. I've missed singing with other people so bad. Music was once such a huge and daily part of my life and I miss that. 

I saw a video today that just tickled my heart. My nephew (not yet  2 years old) loves music. My sister and brother-in-law took him to an orchestra concert on campus. Here was his response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIVkmYJ1ouw&feature=youtu.be

He loves leading the music. I love that he gets both his little arms going there, in imitation of the director. How many 2 year-olds do you know that would sit through a concert like that and enjoy it? It'll be fun to see how that love of music grows in his life. 

In other musical news...

my friend Jamie just made it into the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and I got to see her on TV during the LDS General Conference. I'm so excited for her! This is such an amazing achievement for such an amazing person. She's in the 4th row down, last person on the right with the long dark hair. I could say she's the one in purple, but that wouldn't help much.

I learned something...

I learned something this week. I've suspected it for a while, but I know for sure now. I don't want to run a photography business. I don't want to make photography my income. It is my hobby, and I love it, but I don't want it to be my business.

I was approached about doing school pictures for a local day care/preschoool. I wasn't so sure I wanted to, but I didn't really know how to say no and I knew that the money would help a lot. So I went ahead and wrote the proposal and it got accepted. I was expecting 40-50 kids....I found out there are over 100 kids in that program. I was in deeper than I thought I would be, but I forged on ahead. The shoots went really well, the kids all cooperated pretty good (with only a few that wouldn't hardly let me look at them), and it went faster than I thought. I shot for 4 days and each day I would come home and sort through the photos, pick the one I thought parents would like the best, process the RAW files, and edit the photos. I couldn't pick up the order forms the parents filled out until that last day (the school's preference), so on the last day I finally saw the order forms. I spent the rest of the day putting the print order in (it took me all day), and I paid for overnight shipping, trying to get the prints in by Easter (also the school's preference). This was Tuesday night. Friday morning the print company called and they didn't get the order out in time to get it to my by Easter, so we then had to call all the parents and let them know. Luckily most of them didn't answer a number they didn't know so we were able to leave messages and not talk directly to the angry parents. So finally yesterday the prints came in and I spent hours on the floor sorting and packaging the prints and triple checking to make sure that everything was right and that they had all the prints they ordered. Today I have two phone calls saying they changed their mind and they want different sizes and can I do that without charging them. And I have one mother who hates her child's photo because a sliver of his teeth are showing in his smile and wants retakes.

This wasn't a bad experience at all...I just don't want to be doing this all the time. I don't want to do big orders. I don't want to be a professional photographer. I want to stay a hobbyist. This was a good learning experience, but I will probably never do it again. I'll stick to my friends and family photos and pictures of grass and mountains.

What Cameron Learned This Week:

(He said I could post this, I checked first)

When you're out of dishwasher soap...you can't pour in regular dish soap. 

Teehee...he hadn't noticed yet. I came in and saw what was happening and knew what had happened. I grabbed the camera and snapped a photo just before he turned and discovered the adventure pouring out of the dishwasher. 

It took 3 cycles to get the dishwasher to quit spewing bubbles. But...our floor hasn't been that clean for a long time. It was funny, but I do sure appreciate that he was helping clean the kitchen. He was so good-natured about it all. I love this man! Life is always an adventure at our house. 

Grace

One of our friends works in the Primary (the children younger than 12) at church, and she was giving a lesson on the Resurrection of Christ. She asked Cameron, one of the young women in our ward, and myself to come in dressed as specific characters from Christ's life and tell their story. She asked if I would portray Mary Magdalene. When it was my turn I talked about how "I" (Mary) met the Savior when he cast out the evil spirits. I went on to tell about being at His crucifixion and burial. I finished with visiting the tomb, finding it empty, and seeing the resurrected Christ. I bore a short testimony on how, through Christ, we will all be resurrected again and that if we follow Christ's teachings we can live with Heavenly Father again. I thought I was done and then a sweet and quiet little boy raised his hand. He asked, "Do you know my sister, Grace?" I froze. Grace died just before she was born just a few months before. I didn't know what to say. I could hear the other women in the room holding their breath. I still don't know if I said the right thing, but I finally just started talking and saying whatever came to my mind. I told him I didn't know Grace, but I heard that she was one of the sweetest girls and that Heavenly Father loves her very much. I told him that Heavenly Father has Grace with Him and that someday she will get to be resurrected and have a body again and that he'd get a chance to know his little sister. I've been worrying all day if I said the right thing, and if it was what he needed to hear. His little face was so hopeful and sweet. 

I've been thinking about this all day. I'm so thankful for our Savior. I'm so thankful that Grace isn't just lost forever and that Hyrum and his family will get a chance to get to know her. I'm so thankful that we have a Savior to follow, who shows us the way back to the presence of God and who has redeemed our souls. 

I don't know if Hyrum got the answer he needed today, I pray that he did...that I was able to say the right thing, but I know that I got a sweeter understanding of the blessings of the resurrection and of Christ's Atonement.